Thursday, July 25, 2013

Learn From My Mistakes

In the past 18 years...I've made some really stupid mistakes. Mistakes like accidentally pulling fire alarms (yes, plural), and pushing my older brother down a flight of stairs (less accidental), and being overly-honest and telling a woman at the supermarket she looked like a fat pumpkin (let me clarify that all the above example happened in my childhood. mostly.). I think about situations and conversations and I sometimes wonder, was I just a wee bit insane? The answer is yes, but so is everyone else.

As I move on to write the next chapter of my life, here is some advice from the footnotes of my own experiences that will make life a little less crazy for you.  In other words, learn from mistakes. 

  •           Don’t be afraid to hold the unpopular opinion.

  •           Having fun isn't hard…when you’ve got a library card.

  •          If you want an interesting or unique signature, figure out what you want it to look like before you turn 18.

  •           Never take candy from strangers. Unless it is a Reese's peanut butter cup.

  •         Normal isn't an attainable or definable goal.

  •           Do things that scare you. Not things like getting a full-back tattoo of a dolphin or watching “The Exorcist”, but even scarier things, like introducing yourself to a stranger or standing up for prayer.

  •           If you’re in a relationship where you think the other person would die without you: get out. Unless they are hanging off a cliff, in that case they really might die.

  •           If you have a question about God, or the Bible, etc. ASK. Humbly seek truth and wisdom. It’s not a sign of unbelief, it’s a sign of spiritual growth. God will prove true every time.

  •           Bowties are cool.

  •           Try every new experience at least twice. This does not apply to murder and wearing uggs.

  •           If someone calls you weird, a nerd, or a homeschooler, try to be humble as you thank them for their compliment.

  •           It can be hard to remember sometimes when we’re teaching them to use electronics, but our parents aren't stupid, they aren't your enemies. The family you are placed in is not a mistake. Always remember that your parents want the best for you and, believe it or not, can be some of your best friends.

  •           Life is too short to wear pants around the house.

  •           Always check for loose change under vending machines, in couches, and in the pockets of your winter coats. If you really want to find some dough look in your wealthier friend’s couch and coat.

  •           Your shirt should be tight enough to show you are a woman and loose enough to show you are a lady.

  •          Everyone is just a little insane.

  •           Find out what you want and become the kind of person you’d want to meet.

  •           You can’t change people, especially not through marriage. God is the only one who can truly mold a heart.

  •           Never lower your standards, except when you’re looking for a snack and haven’t gone grocery shopping in awhile.

  •     When someone angrily asks you, "Do you think you could do this better?!" don't say yes. 

  •           You are going to make mistakes. Small potatoes like failing a test and big mistakes like failing a friend.

  •           Learn to laugh at yourself.

  •           Always bring an emergency snack.

  •          Never miss the opportunity to compliment someone.

  •          Good friends validate you, great friends vindicate you.

  •           If you’re unhappy and single, you won’t be any happier being in a relationship.

  •           If you can’t touch your toes while wearing it, you probably shouldn't wear it. If you just can’t touch your toes, that’s really sad and you should stretch more.

  •           Never trust a person who wears turtlenecks. Or, when given the choice between vanilla and chocolate, chooses vanilla.

  •           You will never regret spending a little time with God and in His word. You will regret two straight hours of Angry Birds.

  •          Fall in Love, not in Lust.

  •           If you’re having fun but really have to pee, go pee. The party will still be there when you get back.

  •           No one is perfect. Seriously. Not even Orlando Bloom. Maybe.

  •           These are not the best years of your life.

  •           When in doubt of what to say, shut up. Then you’ll at least appear to be wise.

  •     If you like it... you should put a ring on it.

  •           Have a list of adults who you can go to for advice, guidance, and prayer. No matter how wonderful your friends are, they’re in the same mess.
  •           Never send exiled Arab princes money after they sends you a pleading email. And, I’m sorry to say, you are never the 100th site visitor who won a free ipad.

  •           Read ravenously. Biographies, science fiction, mystery, Do-It-Yourself, the back of cereal boxes; it doesn't matter. Just find what interests you and pursue it.

  •           Just because you disagree doesn't mean you can’t be friends.

  •           Always buy the cheaper, offbrand version. This does not apply to Rolexes, parachutes, or meat.

  •           Wikipedia is not God.

  •           When cheating on a test don’t write, “Answers May Vary”. Scratch that, just don’t cheat. It always come back to bite you.

  •           Tea can solve more problems than you’d think.

  •           If you deliberately hurt  yourself, or wonder if death is an escape route, or cry yourself to sleep every night; get help. You’re not ok, but you’re not alone, either.

  •           Ignore every magazine advice column you've read on what guys do or do not like and how to act accordingly. If this is the man who is going to eventually witness your snoring,  your bizarre eating habits, and plunge your toilet he’d better love you for exactly who you are, cause that’s what he is getting.

  •           When trying to make a choice, ask yourself, “Will this decision matter to me in 5 years?”

  •           Don’t advertise what isn't for sale.

  •           Never try to cut your own hair, no matter how easy the youtube tutorial looks.

  •           Anyone can tell you you’re beautiful. Look for the guy who compliments you for non-physical reasons.

  •          Save your word documents every 15 minutes.

  •           Learn how to bake. It is an essential tool to succeeding at life.You think i'm joking but i'm not. 

  •           Don’t eat your feelings.

  •      Don't Google your medical symptoms. (Bruised shin? Bloody nose? Eye twitch? Surprise!You're dying.)

  •           Travel. Anywhere, everywhere. And don’t fall asleep on strangers while taking public transport.

  •           Don’t create an email address that contains the words princess, pink, die, bubbles, fluffy, sparkle, gurl spelled with a u, or really anything else you’d be ashamed to tell a future employer.

  •          And finally, give up trying to be who other people think you should be and meeting their expectations. God is the only person you should strive to please.
- Dance it out,