Sunday, May 26, 2013

How to Tell If You've Grown Up

You might be a 'grown up' if...

1. Have more than 3 keys on your keychain. Scratch that: Need a keychain.

2. Gone to medical appointments alone.

3. Gone grocery shopping and payed.

4. Know how to cook more than ramen and pbandj.

5.Appreciate naps.

6. Babies become cute, not drooling dumpling people. 

7. Have multiple plastic cards in your wallet.

8.Understand and fiercely grammer-nazi the difference between "you're" and "your"

9. Know when to say "Whom" but choose to say "Who" anyway because "Whom" sounds like Shakespeare making owl sounds.

10. Now take interest in "old people" hobbies like gardening and documentaries.

11. Cleaning, and not because someone told you to.

12. Holding intellectual discussions about politics, regardless of whether you understand what you're saying or not.

13. Go to bed before 10 o'clock.

14. You shower daily. Shower at all, really.

15. Being able to tell if an article of clothing is wrinkled or not.

16. Having the impulse to buy candles by the dozens and lighting them for ambiance when people visit.

17. Getting a cold doesn't mean you get to stay at home and watch "Blue's Clues" and drink sprite all day.

18. Thanksgiving in no longer about eating as much food as possible but about not overdoing it.

19. Christmas isn't the season where you get loads of presents but when you go bankrupt buying loads of presents.

20. Understand the historical significance of the 4th of July.

21. Can buy your own pop rocks and superglue.

22. Choose to watch kid's movies not because you're a kid but because you know they're better.

23. "What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up" becomes "Where Do You Want To Retire Some Day?"

24. When your realize 40 isn't ancient.

25. You call grown-ups by their first names.

26. Learning is a desire, not a duty.

27. You exercise.

28. Fast Food begins to taste less and less appetizing.

29. Have a viable love life. And your love interests aren't fictional characters. 

30. Eat whats good for you, not what you want. And think about calories. 

31. Thought about wrinkles and how to avoid them.

32. Appreciate classical music.

33. Have bills.

34. Have multiple important documents that aren't playing cards of any kind. 

35. Own more than 1 pair of sensible shoes.

36. You have "real clothes" and "comfortable clothes".

37. You've mourned a loved one, and i'm not talking about a dropped ice cream cone. 

38. You stop being a part of your parent's religion and begin experiencing God one-on-one. 

39. You've bought appliances. 

40. Knowing you'll never fully, truly, grow up.

 Peter Pan Syndrome,
-Hannah Hoo

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