Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Grand Theft Ice Cream

image by xZorex on DeviantArt
I did something bad today. For the greater cause, like an avenging Robin Hood of frozen dairy treats, but still. It all starts with an elderly sample woman...

My family and I were roaming the mega-sized, dangerous concrete isles of Costco on the search for some elusive ball park wieners when we came to a sample stand. Sample stands are set up all over the super-store with various goodies and are all manned by what seems like every Grandmother in the local tri-state area. Most are named something like "Marge" or "Doris" or "Gertrude" and have poofy perms and drawn-on eyebrows. Despite one's particular affinity for Joker-esqe makeup, they are some of the sweetest ladies on the face of the earth. Never has been receiving a tasty treat been so nice.

So, when my mom passed the little white cups of chocolate ice cream bar chunks out to the little girls, Jonmark, and I and realized that there was none left for her, she just shrugged and moved on. Feeling suddenly guilty that I had taken the last sample, I noticed that there were three more cups waiting on the rack on the back of the stand. 

I waited until the lovely sample lady was chatting sweet potatoes with another customer and, under the guise of waving Jonmark to come over to our aisle, went to the back of the stand and grabbed an extra cup. 

To my knowledge the lady never noticed, though I think one of the other shoppers might have given me the "Oh, no you DIDN'T!" eyebrows about breaking the sacred rule of taking only one sample per person.

It was no Grand Theft Auto, but likely the most interesting crime I've committed today. In conclusion, I'm left with this thought:

That was really good ice cream. 

Like Stealing Ice Cream from a Sample Lady,


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