Packing Procrastination and Unsolicited Advice to College Freshman

The day that once seemed lifetimes away has finally arrived: leaving for college. I'm in the midst of packing procrastination and my room looks like a war-zone of laundry piles, nostalgia, and shockingly bare walls. I may be moving to Kentucky but I'm currently living in a state of denial. The reality of whats happening tomorrow hasn't really sunk in yet, honestly. Maybe it'll sink in when I've finished packing up the past 19 years of my life into cardboard boxes, or when I meet my roommate in person, or even the moment I'm waving goodbye as my parent's car drives away.

                 

This summer I've been learning that "home" has a very changeable definition. "Home" used to be my old brick house with the creek full of crawdads and a death-wish steep hill where my brother and I would ride our wagon down with the kind of childish bravery that comes from never having crashed before. Then home was the log cabin full of books and pools of sunlight where I battled high school algebra at the kitchen table and spent hours exploring the woods in our backyard. In the past year, through spending time travelling abroad and living part of the summer in Kentucky doing an academic intensive, home isn't a physical place anymore. The first time you say "I'm going to my parent's house" instead of "I'm going home" is a curious feeling indeed. Eventually I'm sure college will feel like home but for now, "home" is in limbo. Home is not a house, an address, or a place; its where you and the people you love are.That sounds like something you'd find on a pillow but like most things embroidered on pillows, its true.

                               

As an incoming freshman whose college experience thus far in life include a few duel enrollment courses and a summer intensive at my college, here is some unsolicited advice to college freshman everywhere:


                          

1. Prepare to play more Frisbee in college than you've ever played in your life.

I can't explain why, but college students love frisbee. I dare you to find a college campus that doesn't, at any given time, have a slapdash game of ultimate frisbee going on. If there is a college in Antarctica i'm sure even they have a game of frisbee going on right now...just with a slab of frozen whale blubber or a rather squat penguin or something. Anthropologists have wondered for years what this young adult fixation is due to and it remains a heated debate in the scientific community. Is it that these academically brainwashed students feel drawn to such UFO-like objects? That the frisbee could be used as an emergency plate to hold free food? That its the cheapest game to play besides Red Rover? No one knows for sure but consider yourself warned.



                              

2. You will walk. A lot. All the time.

Many colleges don't allow freshman to have cars and, even if you do have a car, often the distance between your dorm and class buildings falls just too short to justify driving. Brought a bike to school? Still gonna get exercise, sucker. But don't think of this as a bad thing: imagine the calves you can show off when you're playing frisbee on the quad.




                                
3. Its ok to sacrifice some sleep to study but don't toss and turn over school.

Ultimately, life is about people. Education is a means to better your life and become a more enriched person so as to provide for a family someday, to have more time to spend with your loved ones. So yes, doing your best at whatever you put your hands to is important. But at the end of the day, what really matters more? Getting an A instead of a B on that Chem test or spending an hour reconnecting with an old friend over coffee? Do your best, study hard, then let it go.



                  

4. Its ok to say NO.

It can be really hard to say no sometimes, whether it be to extra cookies, Netflix, or extracurricular activities. In college you're going to be invited to join countless clubs, committees, and causes. While you should say yes to new experiences and adventures, don't be afraid to say no. No to hanging out when you should study for a test, no to becoming part of a activism group against Mystery Meat Mondays, no to every single event with free food that your college is hosting, no to taking on more responsibilities than you can handle at once. Know your limits.



                         

5. Choose friends wisely.

The people who you surround yourself with will, whether you like it or not, have a huge influence on your life. If you are close to motivated, studious people, your grades will reflect that. Just don't forget to also find people who have senses of humor, common interests, and who aren't too easily scared away by your weird habits. Oh, and finding friends with cars, abundant cash, and vacation homes in the Bahamas doesn't hurt either.


                     

6. SHOWER SHOES.

Don't question it, just get them. Go out today and buy cheap foam flip flops (the kind where the toe straps pop out after a few days) and try to forget the blissful days of shoe-less showering you once had the joy of experiencing. College showers are just like your childhood games of "Don't Touch the Floor, It's Lava!" except more like, "Don't Touch the Floors, Its Flesh-Eating Bacteria!" (Ok, not quite that bad. Probably. But I'm not about to find out.)

Well, its time to go decide the hardest part of packing for college: which books to bring and facing the truth that I can't kidnap my friends and bring them with me. Really though, I'm trying to pack light and just stick to the bare essentials: books, floppy sweaters, tea, peanut butter, my mini replica tardis, my popcorn maker, chocolate chip cookie baking mix, Pocky the Stuffed Panda, and enough tea and hot chocolate to drown eventual homesickness. I might not have room to bring much else but hey, who needs pants anyway?

In search of a Great Perhaps,

Hannah

                            

Dinner Table Etiquette for Young Children and Childish Adults

                                

1) If you find yourself sat at a place setting with more than one set of silverware, make good use of those spare suckers. Any kind of food can be given ears with some well-placed spoons and you're two forks away from being a walrus with nose-tusks.

2) If you have a wardrobe malfunction during the second course, just be confidant and disrobe completely. If you are at the table with someone who acts with such excellent manners, it is only polite to follow suit. Or should I say, birthday suit.

3) Instead of disgracing the chef by not eating your veggies, hide them. Some classic hiding places are smooshed under your plate, swimming in your glass, discreetly snuck onto your neighbor's plate, into your clothes and/or shoes, and into your dinner neighbor's clothes and/or shoes. Don't worry about hiding them well, its the thought that counts.

4) If the food is really good show your appreciation and make sure you stuff all your food in your face. All. of. it. AT ONCE. NOW. DO IT.

5) All this polite etiquette nonsense is exhausting but manners are important, even in sleep. So, when you're yawning and feeling a good nap coming on, seize the day. Food is the perfect pillow. *Beauty Bonus*: Go for the bread basket! The butter makes your hair silky and nothing is more attractive than the scent of garlic.

6) Single and ready to mingle? Turn any dinner into a speed dating event! When everyone is settled down and enjoying their food just jump into the lap of the person next to you and eat the food off their forks as its en route to their mouth. As romcom movies illustrate there is nothing more romantic than sharing food. However, if the person is rude and does not reciprocate your feelings, just hop into the next person's chair and so on. Don't worry, theres a lot of courses and always more fish in the sea. Or on the table.

7) It can be very awkward to go to a dinner party where you don't know anyone (Or alienated everyone by sitting in their laps and eating their food). But I digress. If you're in this situation, make your own friends out of food. Ignore those haters when they give you strange looks for having philosophical conversations with your mashed potato fella. They're just jealous of your friendship.

8)  Just like many ancient cultures, burping is how you show your full approval of the course. Know how to burp in words? You're practically Martha Stewart.

9) Ever been in a situation where you want to secretly communicate with your friends but you're sitting at a table of keen-eared strangers? The solution: animal sounds. Owl hoots, horse neighs, whatever sound a fox makes: doesn't matter. Your friend might not understand you but neither will anyone else, and thats the important part.

10) Often at fancy dinners controversial subjects such as politics, religion, and bedtime negotiations will arise. If you find you are uncomfortable with the way the conversation is going or that your argument isn't being heard, make a swooshing sound and slide under the table. No one will debate distasteful subjects when its possible that their opponent could nibble on their toes at any moment.

NOTE: While all these are based on observation of my younger sister's past acts of etiquette at the dinner table, they don't act with such decorum all the time. Usually they are rude to an extreme: chewing with their mouths closed, making polite conversation, and eating all their carrots and brussel sprouts. Honestly, its embarrassing to be seen in public with such ignorant eaters. But I love them anyway.

Elbows on the Table,
- Hannah

Home Alone

Attention All Villains and People of Unsavory Character: 

Just to make something clear, I waited to publish this and am no longer home alone. I may be dumb enough to add the sauce packet to the macaroni noodles while they're still in the strainer but I'm not dumb enough to advertise to the internet that i'm home alone. Just to be clear to any would-be robbers who got really excited for a second. I'm not sure what you would want to steal since the main and most notable contents of my living room right now is my mother's growing family of kombucha in mason jars and the house plant that is slowly but surely eating our piano. Actually, please do take some of the kombucha jars off our hands, they've grown into the double digits and the floating bacteria sponges are a little freaky.

Ahem, onto the blog.

                                             

You think differently when you live alone than when you live with people. I've found this out this last week when my family went on vacation and I, the studious student who couldn't skip her college classes because of tests, stayed behind to hold down the fort and take care of the house. This has given me a window into the world of living alone, and here is what I've found:

                              
The first thing to change when you're home alone is that as other people leave, paranoia moves in. Every unidentified creak and gurgle of an empty house becomes suspect. As time progresses your paranoia increases until you've half convinced yourself that there is a stranger secretly living in the air ducts sneaking food and watching movies on your Netflix account. How else am I supposed to explain to my parents where the gallon-size ziplock bag of chocolate chips disappeared to last week?



Another thing that changes is my relationship with my dog. Generally we keep to ourselves; I peacefully live my life and he lays in a comatose state on his doggy bed, snoring. Like many pets and their owners we enjoy a symbiotic relationship where he leaves me alone and I let him eat food that falls on the floor.

This week, though, as the only other living being in the house (not counting my little sister's fish and our equally-intelligent house plants), he has become my loyal (albeit old and lumpy) bodyguard. I go outside, he goes outside. I sleep upstairs, he sleeps upstairs. I turn Pandora way too loud while doing dishes, he pees his pants in surprise.

Speaking of health and safety, you've got to be more cautious living alone. Every time I reach for milk in the fridge and nearly graze my hand on the edge of an open can of coconut cream I have a surreal vision of being found, dead, and how horrible it would be for my cause of death to be a Trader Joe's Coconut Cream can. Does this give me enough motivation to move the can? No. But its ok, I'll probably just melt the coconut cream with some chocolate chips for lunch.

                

Doors become unnecessary and clothing, optional. Your home had become a judgement-free zone and there is no one to tell you to not wear your sweatpants all day. Or pants at all.  After a few days of living alone your brain will begin to entertain thoughts such as, "What are pants, really? Society-contrived prisons that we only wear to satisfy the demands of others, thats what! The only good thing pants are for is not skidding when you go down slides."

                                                
Thats what I was beginning to think until I was making dinner and the doorbell rang. My heart zoomed up into my throat and I hit the floor, rolling out of sight behind the counter in about 2 seconds, flat, and then hid there until they went away. You have never experienced fear until you're making tacos in your skivvies and someone rings the doorbell.

                         

My already strange eating habits were only magnified by eating alone. You stop having to worry about adjusting your eating habits to other people's schedules and its a dangerously liberating feeling. Pickles and peanut butter for breakfast? Why not! Cinnamon roles and popcorn for lunch? Sounds delicious!Chilli eaten out of a teacup? I'M A FREE WOMAN!

                       

I tend to talk when i'm alone. To my dog, to the computer, to various inanimate objects. Every meal becomes a Rachel Ray worthy cooking show episode, every mundane household task is a narrated thriller, and I've had some very deep conversations with the plastic duck on the piano (Whoops, there I go tempting thieves again.) Stop looking at me like a crazy person, you know you do it too. When my family returned home from vacation it took some effort to stop including Amos into our conversations.

                  
Let me start by saying I got a lot of work done this week. Without screaming sisters and the white noise of co-habitation I managed to do all of my homework and write a kick-butt English paper. But I think I also watched every feel-good dance movie ever made and made the mistake of watching a Ted Talks video on youtube while inevitably led to an hour of learning bizarre, interesting things that made me feel smarter but actually accomplished nothing. If anything it just made me very contemplative and wonder about the mysteries of the universe, like why yogurt is only marketed to women.

I must depart. My fearless guard dog has wedged himself behind the couch for some unknown reason, probably because he saw the mystery person living in the air ducts. Scratch that, he is now rolling on my feet in fear. The air duct person is getting closer, its the only explanation. Still, even with the freaky sounds my fridge makes, my invisible house guest, my cowardly bodyguard, nosy neighbors, eclectic diet, and newly developed 2nd personality to hold conversations with, I love living alone. The real concern is how many times I'm going to sing Phantom of the Opera ballads before I remember that my family is back from vacation.

Talking to myself,
- Hannah

                               

The 3 Things I've Learned in College (So Far)

                                                
Before the thought even begins to tiptoe about the corners of your mind, no, I'm still not writing about Turkey or Africa yet. There are some subjects that are just too large to write about, like love and poverty and how far my heart drops when I'm making a pbj and learn, too late, that the peanut butter jar is empty.

                                         

Its been nearly a month since the spring college semester began and so far, I've learned 3 lessons. Not three things in total, of course, I've also learned loads of trivial information about the balance of pathos and ethos in arguments, utility equations, the function and anatomy of neurons, the saturation point of polyunsaturated fatty acids, and that including lesson-related doodles in your graded notes will score extra points (this is rule #3 in action). What I mean is I've discovered three laws of life and the universe at large in the course of these classes, usually at moments like when watching the clock hands stretch the last 15 minutes of class like bitter taffy.
So, without further ado, the 3 things I've learned in college (so far):

                              

#1: Every textbook you read is still a rough draft.

Education is full of rules. Rules from how to structure essays to how gravity works. The master rule about rules, however, is that every rule has it's exception; no "fact" is 100%. Think about science, in particular. There is a set of principles we call "scientific law" however none of them are concretely factual. When it comes to the way our bodies work or the planets stay aligned we have love to pretend that we've figured it out and have printed a final draft on the way the universe works, but the truth is we haven't. Every textbook you read is still a rough draft. If it wan't for a few skeptical students trying to not fall asleep in their classes a few hundred years ago we wouldn't have busted myths like that the Earth is flat or that 'bloodletting' is a safe medical practice.

Think of all the other currently accepted (if unspoken) laws of the universe that we live by:
- The law that something isn't true until posted to social media
- The law that a girl's Halloween costume has to be in some way sexy
-The law that you can't wear white after labor day
- The law that you have to read through 2 pages of personal anecdotes on foodie blogs before you can get to the ingredient list (seriously, has anyone else noticed this?).

All these laws and more could be completely re-written in the next edition of Life 101.The world isn't the final issue of a textbook, its an easily hack-able Wikipedia page.

                         

#2: Nearly everything is influenced by $$$

Take any subject you're studying and you'll find there is a 90% chance that it is somehow influenced by money. The want of money may be the root of all evil but its also the root of education. In Nutrition the way the food pyramid is stacked is largely to do with the money-hungry food manufacturers who funded the stacking. Economics is literally the study of societies make decisions in pursuit of money and the goods people can buy with money. In art history we learn to value paintings by how much money they're worth, even though the teacher cannot really explain why one painting is worth a million dollars and another, $10.

Think about the decisions you make every day, from what to eat for breakfast to who to marry. We go to college to get jobs to make money, we eat food from stores with lower prices, and even our choice of spouse can be rooted in our estimation of their ability to someday provide for a family.

When evaluating this rule I'm comforted by the fact that rule #1 exists, because there are exceptions. Just as humans unconsciously build our lives in pursuit of money, we are capable of selfless acts and strive for things far more valuable like love, forgiveness, and mercy. And writing this blog post, because I'm certainly not being paid to do this. (Though if you'd like to pay me, feel free.)

                                   

#3: How to Sound Like I Know What I'm Talking About 

Don't worry, I've stopped spouting pseudo-philosophical theories for now. The final lesson is far more beneficial to you and has helped raise many a grade: how to sound like a smarty pants student even if you don't really understand the concept. The difference between a B or an A on an essay could be chalked up to choices such as using the word 'conflagration' instead of 'fire'. A few tips for sounding smartical:

                                     

-Refer to yourself in papers as "this writer" and to other people by their last names. (e.g. "In the end of the blog post the reader began to wonder how sleep deprived Musick was when she penned the words.")

-Sprinkle relevant technical terms onto your homework like bacon bits over a salad: just enough to add academic flavor without making the consumer question if its truly nutritious.

-The thesaurus isn't a kind of dinosaur, its your new best friend.

- READ. The words you pour into your head are going to spill onto your homework, so choose wisely. If your persuasive essay is titled, "Who Wore it Better: The Red Coats or the Blue Coats?" then you might want to ditch the yahoo articles and visit the library. (And not just because libraries have free wifi, and sometimes, little cafes with scrumptious muffins.)

                                        

One of the best parts of being in college is this: You FEEL Smart. Sometimes after struggling through a tough chapter or watching Youtube instructional videos until you understand a concept, this rush of smarty pants chemicals rush into your body and a warm, fuzzy feeling of, "Yeah, I KNOW STUFF." is released. Be warned, though, as a side effect of these temporary educational-highs you may begin unconsciously signing Dr. in front of your signatures and write rambling blog posts about the unspoken laws of the universe.

A+,
-Hannah

Crocodiles, College, and Other Scary Adventures

So I recently got home from a mission's trip to Turkey and Burkina Faso, Africa and people generally ask, "Oh my goodness! How was it?"

The real question is: How do you expect me to answer that question in under 20 minutes without a slideshow of several hundred travel pictures? You can't, thats how.

(Hanging out with Whendenda, one of the sweetest souls I've ever met.)

You just can't take thousands of miles, hundreds of smiles, and one-too-many airline meals and convey it fully. A picture may tell a thousand words but you still can't feel the breeze off the Bay of Izmir, the frantic pulse of music in a Turkish taxi cab, or the taste of mystery meat stew over an African cooking fire. (Nor would you want to in some cases for that last one there...).

The A Team and I (several men and women from the Global House of Prayer in St. Louis and my church) went on some amazing adventures. We climbed (probably illegally) on ancient ruins in Ephesus, we fitted and wrestled TOMS onto little African kid's feet (NOT as glamorously hipster as it sounds but totally worth it), and sat of the backs of sacred Burkinabei crocodiles; the list goes on. I would move on but can we just pause for a sec and all admit the crocodile thing was pretty cool beans? K, thanks.

But right now i'm not going to talk about my trip, not in this blog post anyway. I know, I know, thats not what you want to hear but life is tough, buttercup. This is my blog and right now the thing first and foremost on my noodle is Kentucky.

Admit it, the first thing you thought of when I said Kentucky was chicken. You saw the benevolent, mustached face of Colonial Sanders surrounded by the magical, deep-fried drumsticks that are Kentucky Fried Chicken. Or maybe thats just me. Maybe you thought of one of the many other things Kentucky is known for like horses or bourbon or...nope, I keep coming back to chicken. I can't help it. Obviously my knowledge of that Southern state is lacking.



By this time next year, however, i'll know a lot more about Kentucky...because I've been accepted to a college there!

*Que release of balloons and glitter and fireworks*

                                            

 After a long and arduous application process fraught with last-minute road trips and late-night personal essay writing, I finally received a piece of paper that began with "Congratulations!" not, as i'd feared, "Thank you for applying but take a hike, sucker." (Ok, no proper collegiate institution would send a letter saying that but hey, i'm paraphrasing. And considering this college's picky application process, it was a slightly well-based fear).

                  

The way people react to the announcement of a college application is funny. If I announced i'm moving to Kentucky people would gasp with surprise and concern. Say I'm going to college, however, and its a whole different ballgame. "Oh, college? Well, thats nice for you. Its in Kentucky? Huh, interesting!" Its like you tack on college and it undermines the whole shock factor of moving to the other side of the country, like college is an airport. Like yeah, you might be in Paris but if you're just in the airport on layover you aren't really in France, you're on international ground. Far away, but safe.

                    

I've learned more and more in the past few months the truth in the what Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

"Life's a journey, not a destination". 

Sometimes the joy of travelling isn't just landing in an exotic locale but the conversation you have with your seatmate on the plane ride. People (aka, my mother) told me to stop freaking out and saying things like, "What if I go to college and I flunk out of all my math classes because I have an irrational fear of mathematics and I fail and have to choose between becoming a bourbon-brewing redneck hermit in the depths of the Appalachian mountains or hitchhiking back to Missouri in the back of a station wagon under bales of hay to live out my life as a college drop-out who lives in her parent's basement and lives on ramen noodles and writing Whovian fanfiction? What if, mom?! WHAT IF."



But in all seriousness, half the fun is in the freaking out. Every new adventure in one's life should simultaneously fill you with electric excitement and scare the bejeebies out of you. Part of the journey is in creating your college pinterest boards and daydreaming of the best and worst outcomes and planning the color of your English notebooks months in advance. True, I probably should be planning the color of my notebooks for this semester, but i'm not always the best at focusing on the present. Lets keep in mind that one of my first College drop-out Plan B's was becoming an Appalachian bourbon hermit and rule out the likelihood of logical thought.

Another thing I've learned in the past few months is that the future is unpredictable:

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?"
 (Prov. 20:24, NIV) 

I have my plans and pieces of paper but ultimately i'm not steering this boat, i'm a passenger along for the ride. Nothing about the future (where/if i'll go to college, jobs, where I'll live in a few months, what i'm eating for dinner) is set in stone so i'm going to sit back and enjoy the ride and remember some travel tips that apply to both travel and life: Its not where you are but who you're with, bring granola bars, don't drink the water, and feed the crocodile before you sit on it. Well, maybe not as universally applicable tips as I thought...

Toodles and Gluten-Free Noodles,

Hannah

                                         

The Inn of Tulips and Truckers

I'll give you a few hints to guess where I was this weeked: Wooden tulips, fabric tulips, painted tulips, lighthouses, and freezing drizzle.No, not on a poorly decorated igloo. Or a roofless craft store in bad weather. Honestly, how ridiculous.

I'm in.....HOLLAND!

...Michigan.

It must be both wonderful and horrible to live in Holland, MI because you live in a gorgeous place but have to go through telling people you live in "Holland- no, not the real Holland, the one in Michigan." all the time. You see, Holland, MI is not quite the land of wooden clogs and windmills but the transplanted version that somehow has made its home in the flat planes of the American midwest. From what I observed this means that they have a traditional, quaint tourist town but throw tulips and windmills everywhere. Literally, everywhere. At the hotel we were staying at their were vases of fake tulips hidden on top of the vending machines. Why? Ancient Dutch tradition? Lazy housemaids? We can only wonder in awe of the Dutch's mysterious ways.

If I could describe our hotel (booked last minute over the internet) it would be Yellow. Or Fishy, either way not adjectives one desires their place of rest to be associated with. The walls were a hazy pastel mirage of lemon and pale green, the "beach-inspired" artwork looked less like a weedy sand dunes and more like a fat man's thinly stubbled chin spotted with seagulls. To further evoke the sandy atmosphere we're pretty sure the hotel staff hid some cod in the hotel room. There is no other way to explain the distinctly fishy aroma that pervaded the inn. But after driving for hours upon hours with only sketchy billboards such as the dentist advertisement with the slogan "DON'T DIE WITH YOUR TEETH IN A GLASS!" for entertainment? The bed could have been full of fish and I wouldn't have cared less.

Our equally disturbing door plaques. "Oh, clogs! Where to bury the body?"

The yellow theme continued the next morning when we checked out the most important part of the hotel: the breakfast spread. I kid you not, every food was yellow excluding the apples and 70% of the fruit loops. Bananas, waffles, butter, mysterious spongy ufos that I think might have once been eggs, biscuits, lemon danish, orange juice, honey; the breakfast buffet's redeeming virtue was that they played nature documentaries about baby seals throughout the morning. Baby seals can make any situation better, though they made me think twice about eating the sausage.

Our purpose of visiting the charming lake-side town of Holland was to visit Hope College and was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. Everyone was friendly, the professors were welcoming, and the cafeteria was the stuff of dreams. However, the tuition price was also the stuff of dreams, but thats another blog altogether.

After a long day of making collegiate small talk and collecting souvenir pens my mom and I decided to explore Holland's hidden gems. We went hipster-watching in downtown Holland, visited the campus library, and, of course, went to the beach. I got sand in my shoes, the freezing gale-force wind attacked my hair, I got sprayed by a breaking wave, and it was still completely worth going to see. Standing on the breakers that stretched as a bridge between the shore and the lighthouse, I felt like a more sane, post-anger management Captain Ahab on the deck of his ship in the roiling sea, watching for white whales on the vast horizon. Except I didn't see any sea creatures, just utterly insane windsurfers in wet suits being tossed by the waves and waddling around in the permanent wedgie only a wetsuit can give.

Moi marvelous Mum

Moi and a marvelous lighthouse

After exploring the beach, climbing the dune mountain overlooking the lake, getting lost, finding a restaurant, and eating the best gluten-free burger to ever grace the Earth, we gladly crawled back into our fishy box. Speaking of which, it it well past time for me to burrow into my very warm, cozy, and not fishy or yellow in the least bed. I cannot extol the joys of travelling and last minute road trips enough but there is nothing, NOTHING, like arriving home and belly-flopping into your own bed. Now if I only had a maid that would make my bed every day and leave those mini hotel shampoos and soap bars lying around....

Windmills and Whirlygigs,

-Hannah 

Learn From My Mistakes

In the past 18 years...I've made some really stupid mistakes. Mistakes like accidentally pulling fire alarms (yes, plural), and pushing my older brother down a flight of stairs (less accidental), and being overly-honest and telling a woman at the supermarket she looked like a fat pumpkin (let me clarify that all the above example happened in my childhood. mostly.). I think about situations and conversations and I sometimes wonder, was I just a wee bit insane? The answer is yes, but so is everyone else.

As I move on to write the next chapter of my life, here is some advice from the footnotes of my own experiences that will make life a little less crazy for you.  In other words, learn from mistakes. 

•           Don’t be afraid to hold the unpopular opinion.
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•           Having fun isn't hard…when you’ve got a library card.
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•          If you want an interesting or unique signature, figure out what you want it to look like before you turn 18.
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•           Never take candy from strangers. Unless it is a Reese's peanut butter cup.
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•         Normal isn't an attainable or definable goal.
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•           Do things that scare you. Not things like getting a full-back tattoo of a dolphin or watching “The Exorcist”, but even scarier things, like introducing yourself to a stranger or standing up for prayer.
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•           If you’re in a relationship where you think the other person would die without you: get out. Unless they are hanging off a cliff, in that case they really might die.
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•           If you have a question about God, or the Bible, etc. ASK. Humbly seek truth and wisdom. It’s not a sign of unbelief, it’s a sign of spiritual growth. God will prove true every time.
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•           Bowties are cool.
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•           Try every new experience at least twice. This does not apply to murder and wearing uggs.
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•           If someone calls you weird, a nerd, or a homeschooler, try to be humble as you thank them for their compliment.
• 
  
•           It can be hard to remember sometimes when we’re teaching them to use electronics, but our parents aren't stupid, they aren't your enemies. The family you are placed in is not a mistake. Always remember that your parents want the best for you and, believe it or not, can be some of your best friends.
• 
  
•           Life is too short to wear pants around the house.
• 
  
•           Always check for loose change under vending machines, in couches, and in the pockets of your winter coats. If you really want to find some dough look in your wealthier friend’s couch and coat.
• 
  
•           Your shirt should be tight enough to show you are a woman and loose enough to show you are a lady.
• 
  
•          Everyone is just a little insane.
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•           Find out what you want and become the kind of person you’d want to meet.
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•           You can’t change people, especially not through marriage. God is the only one who can truly mold a heart.
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•           Never lower your standards, except when you’re looking for a snack and haven’t gone grocery shopping in awhile.
• 
  
•     When someone angrily asks you, "Do you think you could do this better?!" don't say yes. 
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•           You are going to make mistakes. Small potatoes like failing a test and big mistakes like failing a friend.
• 
  
•           Learn to laugh at yourself.
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•           Always bring an emergency snack.
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•          Never miss the opportunity to compliment someone.
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•          Good friends validate you, great friends vindicate you.
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•           If you’re unhappy and single, you won’t be any happier being in a relationship.
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•           If you can’t touch your toes while wearing it, you probably shouldn't wear it. If you just can’t touch your toes, that’s really sad and you should stretch more.
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•           Never trust a person who wears turtlenecks. Or, when given the choice between vanilla and chocolate, chooses vanilla.
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•           You will never regret spending a little time with God and in His word. You will regret two straight hours of Angry Birds.
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•          Fall in Love, not in Lust.
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•           If you’re having fun but really have to pee, go pee. The party will still be there when you get back.
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•           No one is perfect. Seriously. Not even Orlando Bloom. Maybe.
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•           These are not the best years of your life.
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•           When in doubt of what to say, shut up. Then you’ll at least appear to be wise.
• 
  
•     If you like it... you should put a ring on it.
• 
  
•           Have a list of adults who you can go to for advice, guidance, and prayer. No matter how wonderful your friends are, they’re in the same mess.
•           
•           Never send exiled Arab princes money after they sends you a pleading email. And, I’m sorry to say, you are never the 100^th site visitor who won a free ipad.
• 
  
•           Read ravenously. Biographies, science fiction, mystery, Do-It-Yourself, the back of cereal boxes; it doesn't matter. Just find what interests you and pursue it.
• 
  
•           Just because you disagree doesn't mean you can’t be friends.
• 
  
•           Always buy the cheaper, offbrand version. This does not apply to Rolexes, parachutes, or meat.
• 
  
•           Wikipedia is not God.
• 
  
•           When cheating on a test don’t write, “Answers May Vary”. Scratch that, just don’t cheat. It always come back to bite you.
• 
  
•           Tea can solve more problems than you’d think.
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•           If you deliberately hurt  yourself, or wonder if death is an escape route, or cry yourself to sleep every night; get help. You’re not ok, but you’re not alone, either.
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•           Ignore every magazine advice column you've read on what guys do or do not like and how to act accordingly. If this is the man who is going to eventually witness your snoring,  your bizarre eating habits, and plunge your toilet he’d better love you for exactly who you are, cause that’s what he is getting.
• 
  
•           When trying to make a choice, ask yourself, “Will this decision matter to me in 5 years?”
• 
  
•           Don’t advertise what isn't for sale.
• 
  
•           Never try to cut your own hair, no matter how easy the youtube tutorial looks.
• 
  
•           Anyone can tell you you’re beautiful. Look for the guy who compliments you for non-physical reasons.
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•          Save your word documents every 15 minutes.
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•           Learn how to bake. It is an essential tool to succeeding at life.You think i'm joking but i'm not. 
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•           Don’t eat your feelings.
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•      Don't Google your medical symptoms. (Bruised shin? Bloody nose? Eye twitch? Surprise!You're dying.)
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•           Travel. Anywhere, everywhere. And don’t fall asleep on strangers while taking public transport.
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•           Don’t create an email address that contains the words princess, pink, die, bubbles, fluffy, sparkle, gurl spelled with a u, or really anything else you’d be ashamed to tell a future employer.
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•          And finally, give up trying to be who other people think you should be and meeting their expectations. God is the only person you should strive to please.

- Dance it out,

     Hannah 

How to Tell If You've Grown Up

You might be a 'grown up' if...

1. Have more than 3 keys on your keychain. Scratch that: Need a keychain.

2. Gone to medical appointments alone.

3. Gone grocery shopping and payed.

4. Know how to cook more than ramen and pbandj.

5.Appreciate naps.

6. Babies become cute, not drooling dumpling people. 

7. Have multiple plastic cards in your wallet.

8.Understand and fiercely grammer-nazi the difference between "you're" and "your"

9. Know when to say "Whom" but choose to say "Who" anyway because "Whom" sounds like Shakespeare making owl sounds.

10. Now take interest in "old people" hobbies like gardening and documentaries.

11. Cleaning, and not because someone told you to.

12. Holding intellectual discussions about politics, regardless of whether you understand what you're saying or not.

13. Go to bed before 10 o'clock.

14. You shower daily. Shower at all, really.

15. Being able to tell if an article of clothing is wrinkled or not.

16. Having the impulse to buy candles by the dozens and lighting them for ambiance when people visit.

17. Getting a cold doesn't mean you get to stay at home and watch "Blue's Clues" and drink sprite all day.

18. Thanksgiving in no longer about eating as much food as possible but about not overdoing it.

19. Christmas isn't the season where you get loads of presents but when you go bankrupt buying loads of presents.

20. Understand the historical significance of the 4th of July.

21. Can buy your own pop rocks and superglue.

22. Choose to watch kid's movies not because you're a kid but because you know they're better.

23. "What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up" becomes "Where Do You Want To Retire Some Day?"

24. When your realize 40 isn't ancient.

25. You call grown-ups by their first names.

26. Learning is a desire, not a duty.

27. You exercise.

28. Fast Food begins to taste less and less appetizing.

29. Have a viable love life. And your love interests aren't fictional characters. 

30. Eat whats good for you, not what you want. And think about calories. 

31. Thought about wrinkles and how to avoid them.

32. Appreciate classical music.

33. Have bills.

34. Have multiple important documents that aren't playing cards of any kind. 

35. Own more than 1 pair of sensible shoes.

36. You have "real clothes" and "comfortable clothes".

37. You've mourned a loved one, and i'm not talking about a dropped ice cream cone. 

38. You stop being a part of your parent's religion and begin experiencing God one-on-one. 

39. You've bought appliances. 

40. Knowing you'll never fully, truly, grow up.

 Peter Pan Syndrome,
-Hannah Hoo