Crocodiles, College, and Other Scary Adventures

So I recently got home from a mission's trip to Turkey and Burkina Faso, Africa and people generally ask, "Oh my goodness! How was it?"

The real question is: How do you expect me to answer that question in under 20 minutes without a slideshow of several hundred travel pictures? You can't, thats how.

(Hanging out with Whendenda, one of the sweetest souls I've ever met.)

You just can't take thousands of miles, hundreds of smiles, and one-too-many airline meals and convey it fully. A picture may tell a thousand words but you still can't feel the breeze off the Bay of Izmir, the frantic pulse of music in a Turkish taxi cab, or the taste of mystery meat stew over an African cooking fire. (Nor would you want to in some cases for that last one there...).

The A Team and I (several men and women from the Global House of Prayer in St. Louis and my church) went on some amazing adventures. We climbed (probably illegally) on ancient ruins in Ephesus, we fitted and wrestled TOMS onto little African kid's feet (NOT as glamorously hipster as it sounds but totally worth it), and sat of the backs of sacred Burkinabei crocodiles; the list goes on. I would move on but can we just pause for a sec and all admit the crocodile thing was pretty cool beans? K, thanks.

But right now i'm not going to talk about my trip, not in this blog post anyway. I know, I know, thats not what you want to hear but life is tough, buttercup. This is my blog and right now the thing first and foremost on my noodle is Kentucky.

Admit it, the first thing you thought of when I said Kentucky was chicken. You saw the benevolent, mustached face of Colonial Sanders surrounded by the magical, deep-fried drumsticks that are Kentucky Fried Chicken. Or maybe thats just me. Maybe you thought of one of the many other things Kentucky is known for like horses or bourbon or...nope, I keep coming back to chicken. I can't help it. Obviously my knowledge of that Southern state is lacking.



By this time next year, however, i'll know a lot more about Kentucky...because I've been accepted to a college there!

*Que release of balloons and glitter and fireworks*

                                            

 After a long and arduous application process fraught with last-minute road trips and late-night personal essay writing, I finally received a piece of paper that began with "Congratulations!" not, as i'd feared, "Thank you for applying but take a hike, sucker." (Ok, no proper collegiate institution would send a letter saying that but hey, i'm paraphrasing. And considering this college's picky application process, it was a slightly well-based fear).

                  

The way people react to the announcement of a college application is funny. If I announced i'm moving to Kentucky people would gasp with surprise and concern. Say I'm going to college, however, and its a whole different ballgame. "Oh, college? Well, thats nice for you. Its in Kentucky? Huh, interesting!" Its like you tack on college and it undermines the whole shock factor of moving to the other side of the country, like college is an airport. Like yeah, you might be in Paris but if you're just in the airport on layover you aren't really in France, you're on international ground. Far away, but safe.

                    

I've learned more and more in the past few months the truth in the what Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

"Life's a journey, not a destination". 

Sometimes the joy of travelling isn't just landing in an exotic locale but the conversation you have with your seatmate on the plane ride. People (aka, my mother) told me to stop freaking out and saying things like, "What if I go to college and I flunk out of all my math classes because I have an irrational fear of mathematics and I fail and have to choose between becoming a bourbon-brewing redneck hermit in the depths of the Appalachian mountains or hitchhiking back to Missouri in the back of a station wagon under bales of hay to live out my life as a college drop-out who lives in her parent's basement and lives on ramen noodles and writing Whovian fanfiction? What if, mom?! WHAT IF."



But in all seriousness, half the fun is in the freaking out. Every new adventure in one's life should simultaneously fill you with electric excitement and scare the bejeebies out of you. Part of the journey is in creating your college pinterest boards and daydreaming of the best and worst outcomes and planning the color of your English notebooks months in advance. True, I probably should be planning the color of my notebooks for this semester, but i'm not always the best at focusing on the present. Lets keep in mind that one of my first College drop-out Plan B's was becoming an Appalachian bourbon hermit and rule out the likelihood of logical thought.

Another thing I've learned in the past few months is that the future is unpredictable:

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?"
 (Prov. 20:24, NIV) 

I have my plans and pieces of paper but ultimately i'm not steering this boat, i'm a passenger along for the ride. Nothing about the future (where/if i'll go to college, jobs, where I'll live in a few months, what i'm eating for dinner) is set in stone so i'm going to sit back and enjoy the ride and remember some travel tips that apply to both travel and life: Its not where you are but who you're with, bring granola bars, don't drink the water, and feed the crocodile before you sit on it. Well, maybe not as universally applicable tips as I thought...

Toodles and Gluten-Free Noodles,

Hannah

                                         

The Inn of Tulips and Truckers

I'll give you a few hints to guess where I was this weeked: Wooden tulips, fabric tulips, painted tulips, lighthouses, and freezing drizzle.No, not on a poorly decorated igloo. Or a roofless craft store in bad weather. Honestly, how ridiculous.

I'm in.....HOLLAND!

...Michigan.

It must be both wonderful and horrible to live in Holland, MI because you live in a gorgeous place but have to go through telling people you live in "Holland- no, not the real Holland, the one in Michigan." all the time. You see, Holland, MI is not quite the land of wooden clogs and windmills but the transplanted version that somehow has made its home in the flat planes of the American midwest. From what I observed this means that they have a traditional, quaint tourist town but throw tulips and windmills everywhere. Literally, everywhere. At the hotel we were staying at their were vases of fake tulips hidden on top of the vending machines. Why? Ancient Dutch tradition? Lazy housemaids? We can only wonder in awe of the Dutch's mysterious ways.

If I could describe our hotel (booked last minute over the internet) it would be Yellow. Or Fishy, either way not adjectives one desires their place of rest to be associated with. The walls were a hazy pastel mirage of lemon and pale green, the "beach-inspired" artwork looked less like a weedy sand dunes and more like a fat man's thinly stubbled chin spotted with seagulls. To further evoke the sandy atmosphere we're pretty sure the hotel staff hid some cod in the hotel room. There is no other way to explain the distinctly fishy aroma that pervaded the inn. But after driving for hours upon hours with only sketchy billboards such as the dentist advertisement with the slogan "DON'T DIE WITH YOUR TEETH IN A GLASS!" for entertainment? The bed could have been full of fish and I wouldn't have cared less.

Our equally disturbing door plaques. "Oh, clogs! Where to bury the body?"

The yellow theme continued the next morning when we checked out the most important part of the hotel: the breakfast spread. I kid you not, every food was yellow excluding the apples and 70% of the fruit loops. Bananas, waffles, butter, mysterious spongy ufos that I think might have once been eggs, biscuits, lemon danish, orange juice, honey; the breakfast buffet's redeeming virtue was that they played nature documentaries about baby seals throughout the morning. Baby seals can make any situation better, though they made me think twice about eating the sausage.

Our purpose of visiting the charming lake-side town of Holland was to visit Hope College and was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. Everyone was friendly, the professors were welcoming, and the cafeteria was the stuff of dreams. However, the tuition price was also the stuff of dreams, but thats another blog altogether.

After a long day of making collegiate small talk and collecting souvenir pens my mom and I decided to explore Holland's hidden gems. We went hipster-watching in downtown Holland, visited the campus library, and, of course, went to the beach. I got sand in my shoes, the freezing gale-force wind attacked my hair, I got sprayed by a breaking wave, and it was still completely worth going to see. Standing on the breakers that stretched as a bridge between the shore and the lighthouse, I felt like a more sane, post-anger management Captain Ahab on the deck of his ship in the roiling sea, watching for white whales on the vast horizon. Except I didn't see any sea creatures, just utterly insane windsurfers in wet suits being tossed by the waves and waddling around in the permanent wedgie only a wetsuit can give.

Moi marvelous Mum

Moi and a marvelous lighthouse

After exploring the beach, climbing the dune mountain overlooking the lake, getting lost, finding a restaurant, and eating the best gluten-free burger to ever grace the Earth, we gladly crawled back into our fishy box. Speaking of which, it it well past time for me to burrow into my very warm, cozy, and not fishy or yellow in the least bed. I cannot extol the joys of travelling and last minute road trips enough but there is nothing, NOTHING, like arriving home and belly-flopping into your own bed. Now if I only had a maid that would make my bed every day and leave those mini hotel shampoos and soap bars lying around....

Windmills and Whirlygigs,

-Hannah 

Learn From My Mistakes

In the past 18 years...I've made some really stupid mistakes. Mistakes like accidentally pulling fire alarms (yes, plural), and pushing my older brother down a flight of stairs (less accidental), and being overly-honest and telling a woman at the supermarket she looked like a fat pumpkin (let me clarify that all the above example happened in my childhood. mostly.). I think about situations and conversations and I sometimes wonder, was I just a wee bit insane? The answer is yes, but so is everyone else.

As I move on to write the next chapter of my life, here is some advice from the footnotes of my own experiences that will make life a little less crazy for you.  In other words, learn from mistakes. 

•           Don’t be afraid to hold the unpopular opinion.
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•           Having fun isn't hard…when you’ve got a library card.
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•          If you want an interesting or unique signature, figure out what you want it to look like before you turn 18.
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•           Never take candy from strangers. Unless it is a Reese's peanut butter cup.
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•         Normal isn't an attainable or definable goal.
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•           Do things that scare you. Not things like getting a full-back tattoo of a dolphin or watching “The Exorcist”, but even scarier things, like introducing yourself to a stranger or standing up for prayer.
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•           If you’re in a relationship where you think the other person would die without you: get out. Unless they are hanging off a cliff, in that case they really might die.
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•           If you have a question about God, or the Bible, etc. ASK. Humbly seek truth and wisdom. It’s not a sign of unbelief, it’s a sign of spiritual growth. God will prove true every time.
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•           Bowties are cool.
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•           Try every new experience at least twice. This does not apply to murder and wearing uggs.
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•           If someone calls you weird, a nerd, or a homeschooler, try to be humble as you thank them for their compliment.
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•           It can be hard to remember sometimes when we’re teaching them to use electronics, but our parents aren't stupid, they aren't your enemies. The family you are placed in is not a mistake. Always remember that your parents want the best for you and, believe it or not, can be some of your best friends.
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•           Life is too short to wear pants around the house.
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•           Always check for loose change under vending machines, in couches, and in the pockets of your winter coats. If you really want to find some dough look in your wealthier friend’s couch and coat.
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•           Your shirt should be tight enough to show you are a woman and loose enough to show you are a lady.
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•          Everyone is just a little insane.
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•           Find out what you want and become the kind of person you’d want to meet.
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•           You can’t change people, especially not through marriage. God is the only one who can truly mold a heart.
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•           Never lower your standards, except when you’re looking for a snack and haven’t gone grocery shopping in awhile.
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•     When someone angrily asks you, "Do you think you could do this better?!" don't say yes. 
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•           You are going to make mistakes. Small potatoes like failing a test and big mistakes like failing a friend.
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•           Learn to laugh at yourself.
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•           Always bring an emergency snack.
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•          Never miss the opportunity to compliment someone.
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•          Good friends validate you, great friends vindicate you.
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•           If you’re unhappy and single, you won’t be any happier being in a relationship.
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•           If you can’t touch your toes while wearing it, you probably shouldn't wear it. If you just can’t touch your toes, that’s really sad and you should stretch more.
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•           Never trust a person who wears turtlenecks. Or, when given the choice between vanilla and chocolate, chooses vanilla.
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•           You will never regret spending a little time with God and in His word. You will regret two straight hours of Angry Birds.
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•          Fall in Love, not in Lust.
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•           If you’re having fun but really have to pee, go pee. The party will still be there when you get back.
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•           No one is perfect. Seriously. Not even Orlando Bloom. Maybe.
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•           These are not the best years of your life.
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•           When in doubt of what to say, shut up. Then you’ll at least appear to be wise.
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•     If you like it... you should put a ring on it.
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•           Have a list of adults who you can go to for advice, guidance, and prayer. No matter how wonderful your friends are, they’re in the same mess.
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•           Never send exiled Arab princes money after they sends you a pleading email. And, I’m sorry to say, you are never the 100^th site visitor who won a free ipad.
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•           Read ravenously. Biographies, science fiction, mystery, Do-It-Yourself, the back of cereal boxes; it doesn't matter. Just find what interests you and pursue it.
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•           Just because you disagree doesn't mean you can’t be friends.
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•           Always buy the cheaper, offbrand version. This does not apply to Rolexes, parachutes, or meat.
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•           Wikipedia is not God.
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•           When cheating on a test don’t write, “Answers May Vary”. Scratch that, just don’t cheat. It always come back to bite you.
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•           Tea can solve more problems than you’d think.
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•           If you deliberately hurt  yourself, or wonder if death is an escape route, or cry yourself to sleep every night; get help. You’re not ok, but you’re not alone, either.
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•           Ignore every magazine advice column you've read on what guys do or do not like and how to act accordingly. If this is the man who is going to eventually witness your snoring,  your bizarre eating habits, and plunge your toilet he’d better love you for exactly who you are, cause that’s what he is getting.
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•           When trying to make a choice, ask yourself, “Will this decision matter to me in 5 years?”
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•           Don’t advertise what isn't for sale.
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•           Never try to cut your own hair, no matter how easy the youtube tutorial looks.
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•           Anyone can tell you you’re beautiful. Look for the guy who compliments you for non-physical reasons.
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•          Save your word documents every 15 minutes.
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•           Learn how to bake. It is an essential tool to succeeding at life.You think i'm joking but i'm not. 
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•           Don’t eat your feelings.
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•      Don't Google your medical symptoms. (Bruised shin? Bloody nose? Eye twitch? Surprise!You're dying.)
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•           Travel. Anywhere, everywhere. And don’t fall asleep on strangers while taking public transport.
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•           Don’t create an email address that contains the words princess, pink, die, bubbles, fluffy, sparkle, gurl spelled with a u, or really anything else you’d be ashamed to tell a future employer.
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•          And finally, give up trying to be who other people think you should be and meeting their expectations. God is the only person you should strive to please.

- Dance it out,

     Hannah