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Showing posts with label Short Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Short Story. Show all posts

Monday, May 16, 2011

Mystery Amidst the Clover

Friends,

Since I am leaving for England tomorrow night I thought i'd better elave you with a nice long bit of reading material blogging-lovliness. Below is a mysterious mystery story that I wrote for my British Lit Class. Enjoy! 

Shots in the Dark,
Hannah Hoo



Mystery Amidst The Clover


By Hannah Musick

           
            “How do I look, George? Sufficiently grand?” Snidelock wiped a circle mist from the carriage window with his ruby sleeve and twisted the twirly ends of his polished mustache in the reflection, “I expect that after this case I’ll be promoted to Head Detective.”
            “Yessir, Detective.” If you were in a theatre performance, thought George. The entire force back at Scotland Yard found Snidelock a novelty, which was perhaps the desired effect. He always wore flamboyant suits in dark emerald, indigo, and amethyst. Silk ascots, feathered hats, and his elaborate mustache gave an eccentric entertainer’s flair to the Detective. George personally wouldn’t be caught dead in such getup, but the apparel only succeeded in adding a mysterious air to Snidelock. George would have much rather been paired with one of the more professional detectives on the force, but as he was just 17 and as an assistant he had no choice in the matter.
            “Well than, lets get on with it! We have a mystery to solve, my boy.” Detective Snidelock pounded the head of his cane, a bronze peacock with glinting gemstone eyes and a curved beak, against the roof of the carriage to signal the driver that we had arrived. The carriage slowed and then squelched to a halt on the muddy country road. Snidelock flung open the carriage door and leapt out onto the ground, his already muddy snakeskin boots becoming even muddier. George tucked his notebook into his coat and stepped down carefully. With instructions to return in an hour, George and Snidelock turned to their destination, the Clover Estate.
            Despite being only a carriage ride away from London, George felt as if the thick mist had followed them to the countryside. It was thick enough to slice with a butter knife and serve on toast with tea. Soon the carriage had disappeared and Snidelock plowed forward into the unknown. George quickly followed, not wanting to be lost in the middle of the chill forest.
            The Estate appeared in stages; first a coal wrought iron gate, then scarlet set of doors and the pale walls until George and Snidelock stood before a massive mansion with many curtained windows. There seemed not to be another living soul about so Snidelock stepped forward and, after adjusting his hat, knocked loudly on the door. The thumps echoed softer and softer until the door creaked open. A dusty butler peered around the door with a suspicious glint to his eye.
            “Aye, then? What is your business here?”
            “I am Detective Snidelock Tombs here to investigate a murder. This letter was delivered early this morning to Scotland Yard.” Snidelock snapped his fingers and George scrambled to pull out the letter and handed it to the Butler, who read It aloud:
Scotland Yard  - May 7th
          Please send help to The Clover Estate in Bath as soon as humanly possible. We may still be in grave danger. A tragic accident has occurred.
_Baroness Clover
            The butler grunted. “Delivered it myself.” He nodded towards George. “What about ‘im?”
            “I’m George sir. I’m Tomb’s assistant.”
            After a brief moment of hesitation, we were allowed entry. The inside of the manor was fine and furnished with expensive materials befitting such an old family as the Clovers. Smoky glass wall lanterns lit the adjoining corridors, crackling every once in awhile from impurities in the oil. The butler mutely led us up a carpeted staircase and through a maze of rooms. He paused, tapping lightly on an oaken door, and then swung it open to reveal a dark room.
            “Detective Tombs and his assistant to see you, Baroness. Detective, I present Baroness Lily. Lily Clover.”
            Without a parting word the butler disappeared and closed the door, rather loudly, behind us.
            “Oh, welcome to my home, Detective. Please, draw the curtains.”    
            Detective Snidelock strode to the vast plate window and threw open the dusty curtains. Baroness Clover, a fine lady enveloped in a widow’s mourning gown of crushed velvet, blinked at the startling light. Her beautiful face was papery with shock and her sparrow’s eyes had a haunted, darting manner as if she expected the killer to appear at any moment from behind the couch or slithering from under the oriental carpet.
            “I am so glad you have come. When I sent word for help to Scotland Yard last night, I didn’t expect such a quick response. You have exceeded my expectations, Detective Tombs.”
            Tombs pet his mustache. “Call me Snidelock, Baroness. Please, tell us about last night. George, take notes.”
            “Last evening I awoke to a piercing scream from the west wing of the house, maybe around 11:00. My husband is… was a very busy doctor and had been reading in the library when I went to bed, something to do with a medical case he had been working on. As I neared the library I heard a clatter and the sound of retreating footsteps, then a banging sound. When I opened the library door I saw no one but my husband, napping in his reading chair. It wasn’t until I stepped forward to wake him and ask about an intruder that I realized he was- was-,” here the Baroness took a moment to press her shaking hands to her face, trying to regain control of her emotions. With a deep breath, she continued, “Dead. He had been stabbed several times with a silver knife which the killer had dropped in flight. No one has touched the body or the library, anticipating your investigation.”
            “I see. Who else lives on this estate, Baroness?”
            “Well, lets see. There’s Wilkes Kingsly the Butler, the maid Alice, and our cook, Smithy. Since it was just the Baron and I we didn’t require much help. We didn’t entertain often due to my husband’s work.”
            George looked up from where he’d been scribbling. “Baroness, did your husband have any enemies?”
            Snidelock shot George an irritated glance. “I was getting to that, George. Let me ask the questions.” Turning to the Baroness he smiled and asked,” Enemies?”
            The Baroness looked momentarily confused. “No, not James. The Baron was a kind man and avoided conflict whenever possible. He was a very reclusive man, only leaving the house to treat special patients. In fac- oh! There was this one woman. Apparently she died during an operation and her husband blamed James for her loss. He sent a nasty letter threatening revenge but nothing came of it. I always thought it was the grief talking. Would you like to take the letter as evidence?”
            Snidelock stood. “No thank you, Baroness. Perhaps later if it pans out, but for now I wish to inspect the scene of the crime. If you will…?”
            “Of course. This way, please.”
            Baroness Clover led us through a hall to the next wing of the estate. Besides the swish of her grim skirts the house was deathly silent. We soon came to a looming set of doors, and she paused.
            “If- If you don’t mind I’ll stay here. The sight would not be well for my nerves. Please take all the time you need.”
            Snidelock pushed open the door with no hesitation. The library was enormous and lit here and there with a tinted lamp. Shelves of aged tomes were stacked from floor to ceiling, and a man was collapsed into the cushy chair in the corner. Snidelock strode forward with no apparent aversion to the corpse and inspected the scene. He leaned forward until his nose was almost touching the dead Baron’s and peered into the glassy eyes. “Very interesting,” he sniffed once then dropped to the hardwood floor and crawled around the ground on all fours, then over to the wall of bookshelves. As suddenly as he had fallen he sprang up with ludicrous energy and began pulling books from the shelves and throwing them about.
            Hearing the commotion, the Baroness peeked timidly around the door. “Is everything alright in there?”
            “Quite fine, Baroness. I’m simply deducting the movements of the killer. You never know when a hidden passageway will arise! I shall be finished in a moment.” With that Snidelock frowned at the exposed wall and abandoned his endeavors to study the weapon. He picked up the knife from the carpet and examined it closely. “George, take careful note of the knife. We might have to compare it to the estate’s silverware later.”
            “I already did, Sir. While you were…investigating the books.”
            “Fine then, take note of the body!” Tombs sniffed and started stabbing an invisible assailant from several angles.
            The assistant hesitantly approached the corpse. It really seemed as if the Baron were simply asleep. With his eyes open. And stab wounds. George scribbled his observations and tweaked his glasses. Six wounds, all to the chest. The Baron was wearing pajamas, a moth-eaten robe, and a red and white silk scarf was tied around his neck. No, not a red and white scarf; a blood stained white scarf. George slid his pencil under the cloth and pulled back to reveal a wide incision in the Baron’s neck, like that of a blunter or larger knife. He shuddered and stepped back, letting the scarf fall back into place.
            Snidelock was still searching the shelves for clues and tossing them willy-nilly over the floor. George noticed one book that stood out from the rest. It was mauve, crackly leather bound medical tome on the anatomy and inner workings of the heart. It was aged and had a deep tear in the leather that almost pierced the yellowed pages within.
            There was a sudden bang as Snidelock thumped his cane and called the Baroness into the library. “I have come to a conclusion, Baroness! Call for the butler as well!”
            When everyone was gathered, the baroness wincing at the sight of the late Baron, Snidelock cleared his throat and announced, “I have deduced that the killer was wielding a silver dinner knife. The Baron’s cause of death was stabbing.” He paused and smiled proudly.
            There was a short silence. “And?” meekly asked the Baroness.
            “And  I believe I have narrowed down the suspect list. The crook must have left the library through the yonder window, as you can see over there,” he gestured to a large latched window facing the servant’s buildings, “ …and thus the servant must be a worker on the grounds!”
            George frowned. “I don’t see how that would indicate tha-“
            “Oh, be quiet lad. Never question the sleuthing skills of a senior detective. Now, on to the servants quarters!”
            Snidelock flung open the window and hopped out onto the lawn, fully expecting everyone to do the same. One by one we stepped through the window and followed. As Snidelock was about to walk right into the servant’s quarters when a looming shape appeared at the door. An impressive butcher knife was held in his meaty hand and dripped scarlet onto his vast leather boots. The bald man glared at Snidelock with intensity and then swung the knife to point to Tomb’s chest. “You don’t belong here. Leave the estate immediately. Or else.”
            Snidelock giggled nervously and began to back away.
            “Smitty! That man’s a detective come to investigate the Baron’s murder,” exclaimed the Butler as he neared, helping the Baroness with a steady hand.
            “Aye, James. I didn’t know.” The burly man stepped aside and wiped the knife on his apron.
            “Well, then. Would you like to explain why you are threatening people with a massive bloodly knife, sir?” asked Snidelock with a new surge of bravado after he had realized there was no danger.
            “I was cutt’in the meat for tonight’s roast. I’m the estate’s chef, and a fine one too.”
            George scribbled in his notebook: “Possible suspect? More than capable of wielding knives. Motivation? Alibi?”
            “And where, pray tell, were you last night about 1:00 am?” asked Snidelock.
            “On my way back from town. I went shopping for supplies at yesterday’s market and went to the Three Blind Mice for a drink. Lost track of time and was late starting back. It was raining terrible it was, almost got ran over by a reckless carriage I did. Didn’t make it home until late and by then the house was all a fuss over the murder.”
            More scribbling: “Alibi: Grocery. Validate with Mice Bar if necessary. Motivation: Money, breakfast revenge. Very possible suspect.”
            “Mighty convenient, eh?”
            The Cook’s swarthy cheeks reddened. “The baron was mighty picky about his bangers, and tight with his pocketbook sometimes, but it’s a real shame, to die like that! I would never have murdered the Baron!”
            Tombs sniffed and turned to the Butler. “What about you, James? Where were you last night?”
            The Butler stiffened. “I was working.”
            “Working? On what?”
            “My duties. I didn’t have time to do it earlier this week so I was up late polishing the silver.”
            “How coincidental that you polished the silver the very same night your master was stabbed to death by a silver knife! Tell me, Butler, did that knife belong to the Clover Estate?”
            “Why, yes. Yes it did.”
            “Perhaps,” drawled Snidelock, “Perhaps you had a motive for murder, Butler. You were having an affair with Baroness Clover, weren’t you?”
            The Baroness stiffened, shocked. The Butler was pale as the mist that swirled at their feet, revealing the truth of the matter.
            “It was easy to see. A busy husband who cared more for medical anomalies than his lovely wife, you were driven into the arms of the Butler. Is this not so? Under no other circumstances would the help refer to their master on an intimate first name basis as when you introduced us to the Baroness.”
            “How di- Well, yes. It is true. The Baron and I were never close, in a way his death is a relief. I did care for him, but I never loved James the way I love Wilkes.”
            “That blows the case wide open, then!” exclaimed Snidelock. “It’s obvious who the killer is. Baron Clover’s murderer is-“
           
            Who do you, Reader, think murdered Baron Clover? The adulterous Baroness, neglected by her busy husband? Her lover, the butler, killing to rid himself of his ladylove’s rival? The bloody butcher with a fabulous collection of knives and anger at mistreatment? Or someone else? Turn the Page to find out the true killer’s identity…





...





            “Hold it right there, Detective! I know exactly who the killer is, and it isn’t anyone on this estate,” George interrupted, fixing Snidelock with a calm gaze.
            “Whatever do you mean, young man?” asked the widowed Baroness. “There are no other suspects. Are there?”
            “Lad, you don’t know what you’re speaking of. Now be quiet as I reveal the killer,” Snidelock looked apprehensive. Almost nervous.
            “Not any longer, Tombs. I know I’m right. You, Snidelock Tombs, are the murderer.”
            A shocked gasp rippled through the onlookers.
            “Are you mad, boy? I’m a detective! My occupation is fighting crime. I have no reason to commit murder.”
            “But you did, Detective. Murder fueled your life. You’ve investigated so many cases that you know how a killer thinks, how a killer acts. When your flamboyant ways and lack of solved cases became apparent, you had to impress Scotland Yard with a stroke of genius that would’ve bumped you up to Head Detective, maybe even Commissioner someday. So you planned it all out. A rich, respected family like the Clovers. A sudden murder. You must have been lurking around the area for weeks, planning every aspect of the case. The suspects, the victim, the timing, the weapon; everything. No doubt in your snooping and investigating you discovered the affair quite quickly. Last night you came here, to the Clover Estate, killed the Baron in the library, and fled back to London just in time to receive the call for help this morning.”
            Snidelock’s face had drained of color and his mustache quivered. “I grant the alibi might be plausible, but what evidence could you possibly have?”
            George opened his notebook with a grin. “I have been taking notes, you know. First of all, your boots.”
            Everyone turned to inspect Snidelock’s boots. “What about them?” sneered Snidelock.
            “When we left the carriage I noticed that they were already dirty with dried mud. It was only after I’d left the carriage that they were dirtied.”
            “Circumstantial evidence!” scoffed the detective.
            “Is it? Well, on to my next piece of evidence. When the Butler answered the door you informed him that we were here to investigate a murder. It wasn’t until later that we were enlightened as to what kind of an emergency the Baroness had called to Scotland Yard for help with. It might have been any kind of emergency, but you knew it was murder.”
            “That won’t convince anyone, you foolish boy!”
            “Won’t it? How about the body? From a quick observation the Baron was stabbed to death with a silver house knife. However, on closer inspection, I believe the actual cause of death was not from the knife. That was only done later to mask the true cause. The Baron was actually killed with a blow to the neck by a wide, sharp edged object. An object such as your personalized cane, there. If the coroner was to test the beak of the bronze peacock to the wound I think he would find they match perfectly. Not only that, but you disguised the wound with one of your own silk scarves, didn’t you?”
            George saw his answer is the perspiration dripping odd Snidelock’s brow and the rage in his eyes.
            “There was one thing I couldn’t figure out, though. Why use your cane when you had planned to murder with the knife all along? It doesn’t make sense. It wasn’t until you were knocking the books from the shelves, supposedly looking for a hidden passageway, that I realized the truth. You weren’t searching for anything, you were trying to hide evidence.
            When you attacked Baron Clover with the knife he wasn’t entirely helpless. He must have reflexively blocked that first blow with the medical journal he was reading and knocked the blade from your hand. He had just began to scream for help. You had to quiet him, so you struck with the only weapon you had handy: your peacock cane. The blow to the jugular was what really killed Baron Clover. The stab wounds were only to mislead everyone. The book, sliced from the blade, fell to the floor. Instead of draw attention by singling out the book, you simply mixed it in with the other books.”
            “Why you!” Snidelock lunged for George, his cane held high and fury burning in his wild eyes. Smitty caught the neck of Tomb’s ridiculous suit and held him back with a thick fist. George wrenched the cane from the detective’s grasp and tossed it lightly in the air.
            “Thank you, kind Sir. If you wouldn’t mind, could you keep an eye on him until backup can arrive? Scotland Yard should be very interested to hear of this case, I should think.”
            “I would have gotten away with it, I WOULD HAVE! I deserved that title, I’m a genius!” Tombs fumed.
            “I have to say that in a twisted way your plan was elementary, my dear Snidelock. But you can’t escape the hounds of justice forever.”
THE END

Farewell, America!
-Hannah

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

10 Ways to Tell An Invisible Person is In YOUR House!



Do household objects move by themselves? Do footprints appear on your freshly washed floors? Do doors open and close by themselves? If you said yes to all of these questions, YOU might have an...

Invisible Person!

Still unsure? Here are 10 Ways to Tell If An Invisible Person is in YOUR House!


  1. Your bobby pins and hair clips disappear in an instant!

  2. You can hear footsteps behind you, yet when you turn around no one is there!

  3. The toilet flushes in the middle of the night, even if you are the only person home!

  4. The laughter you imagine when you do something stupid/embarrassing? Is it really in your head?

  5. Doors seem to always be standing open in your home, even if you closed them just a moment ago!

  6. You'll notice a increasing amount of bandages are missing from your First Aid kits!

  7. Food disappears from your cabinets and refrigerator!

  8. Furniture looks worn and creased (almost as if someone is sitting in them?) after you buy it only a month earlier!

  9. Writing utensils find their ways to walls and windows, leaving cryptic messages!

  10. You find sunglasses, hats, and gloves laying around your home!

Do you think you have an invisible person in your home? If so, contact a professional at once! If you don't think its an invisible person, it is most likely an infestation of children. Contact babysitter immediately.


Buttercups and Mad Hatters,


~Hannah Hoo


(P.S. If you believe there really is an invisible person(s) in your house, I work for the Tooth Fairy. She wants her money back and says to send it through me.)



Memoirs of a Teenage Librarian ~ By Hannah Hoo



"Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once,” Mr.Biblo said in a deep, melancholy voice, gesturing dramatically with a bony hand.
“I’m not sure, Mr.Biblo. I’d really rather not, “I wrinkled my nose and held the object away from me doubtfully. It was unnaturally white and pasty, and oozed ominously when I held it too tight. A blob of filling fell and hit the round table, then sat and quivered for several moments like a querulous jelly.
He sniffed disapprovingly. ”A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Nay, if to- Ouch!”
Mrs. Quill had reached over and whapped Mr.Biblo on the head with her book. “Really, Robert, let the girl eat what she wants. She doesn’t have to eat one of your tofu wraps if she doesn’t want to. How would you like it if we made you eat a hamburger?”
"I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my
wit,” he said with upturned nose, then returned to reading his ever-present volume of Shakespeare. Mr.Biblo was rather like a reincarnation of the great bard himself, in both appearance and personality. Thin and pale as a nerd at a swimming pool, the top of his head was shiny bald and dark hair like curly ramen noodles fringed the back. He even had a small gold earring like the great poet, though I suspect it was a fake. A tall, unshaven pencil of a man that chooses to forever write nothing but Shakespeare, that was Robert Biblo. I’ve yet to hear him speak anything that wasn’t once spoken by the bard.
Mrs. Quill returned to eating her own lunch: a tray of KFC and a cup of coleslaw. Mrs. Quill has the amazing ability of reading while eating and never spills a drop or loses her concentration. A tear or two dripped into her coleslaw at an especially sad bit of her romance book. For a librarian, I was surprised she read the rubbish books where the main characters always forget to put their shirts on, yet she reads them like new paychecks.
“No, no! Lillian, he murdered Chris! Don’t you see? It’s just like that time you eloped with Phillip and the mother tried to poison you,” Mrs. Quill ate ferociously fast in her anger at “Chris”.
I don’t actually know Mrs. Quill’s first name; no one does. Mrs. Quill is the grandmotherly kind of person you could know all your life and never know her first name or her age. She was rather like a warm teapot: round, responsible, and bubbling with surprises; things like her romance novels and the tattoo of a pink Elvis Presley on the back of her neck. Her hair is white blond, always braided in a crown around her head. Her clothes are huggable, cozy cardigans and modest skirts. The only thing remotely sharp about her is her heels, colorful and surprisingly tall. Life Lesson #27 of a Teenage Librarian: People aren’t always what they seem.
The door creaked open, and Tim backed into the room with arms full of food. His loud Hawaiian shirt was like watching a car accident; scary yet you can’t tear your eyes away. Tom, in essence, is Ziggy; only with hair and pants. His voice could lull a baby to sleep, inspire world peace, any make kittens and bunny rabbits pop out of thin air. He was the kind of guy who would have gotten bullied in school, only he gave the bullies anger management classes instead.
“Hello, everyone,” Tim’s face beamed with a calm smile, “I hope you are enjoying your lunch break. This is such a bright day, very sunny. All those nice people coming to find books. I helped a man find “Aliens for Dummies” just a minute ago. He seemed very pleased.” Bags of fast food pooled on the table, from McDonalds to Taco Bell. Like Ziggy, Tim was very round and cuddly, like a life size teddy bear…a life size teddy bear with an affinity for Hawaiian shirts.
I reached under my chair and pulled my own lunch out: a banana and mayonnaise sandwich. No one else understands my B’n’M sandwiches yet to me they are pure delicious.
I am Lucinda Springs, and this summer I decided to gain extra credit points for high school by being a junior librarian. Only a few weeks on the job, I realized that a library is a far more interesting place than I ever would have suspected. On slow days, I can wheel my book cart through the aisles, methodically replacing books and people watching. Teenagers kissing in the reference isle, math whizzes looking up “How to be Gangster” on YouTube, balding men talking to shrinks about life and love, one of my fellow librarians doing the tango with a encyclopedia when he or she thinks no one is looking, a grandmother picking her nose. Life Lesson of a Teenage Librarian #28: People don’t seem to realize that there are other people at a library (much to my amusement).
There was one person missing from our motley lunch crew: Julia Hones. Julia was an odd duck, to say the least. She’s the human form of an email signature, and is constantly in her own little world, thinking unique Julia thoughts or saying strange Julia things.
“Have you seen Julia?” I ask everyone.
“Fell into a sadness, then into a fast, thence to a watch, thence into a weakness, thence to a lightness, and, by this declension, into madness wherein now he raves, and all we mourn for,” said Mr.Biblo, making things clear as concrete. Life Lesson #29 of a Teenage Librarian: Don’t ask Mr.Biblo anything and expect a real answer. Ever.
“Wha- Oh, no I haven’t, dear. Last I saw her she was doing tai-chi on the roof.” Mrs. Quill barely paused in her reading.
Tim looked up at the ceiling as if he could receive a heavenly visitation at any moment delivering news of Julia’s whereabouts. Or maybe just wondering how one gets onto the roof, anyhow. He paused, and then shook his head. “I don’t know.”
A new voice, slow and thoughtful, said, “Do Lipton employees…take coffee breaks?”
“Julia? Where are you?” I looked around. The walls of the break room were more book than wall, and the only furniture was the lunch table and chairs. Unless she had crawled into the air ducts (and that wouldn’t be too surprising), the only other place she could be was…
We all looked under the table. Sitting in the yoga lotus position with her eyes closed, was Julia.
She opened her eyes, realizing we were all staring at her. “What? I was pre-meal meditating.”
She crawled out from under the table and pulled up a chair, sitting down cross-legged. Mrs. Quill, Mr.Biblo, and Tim were used to Julia’s strange and mysterious ways by now. I, however, was still new enough to be startled to find her doing sun salutations on the filing cabinets.
We all assumed the only reason Julia was a librarian was so she doesn’t have to work. Mostly she adds artistic touches to the library and runs the main website. She was in her 20’s and looks like a gypsy; beaded wrap-around skirts, sandals with knee-high leather laces, colorful pheasant blouses and puffy sleeves. Enormous gold hoops and wild curly ebony hair that you can see bobbing above the shelves as she walks through the library. Her only feature that looked even faintly librarian is a pair of metallic glasses.
“Mmmfle gloouf mamfre?” she said through a mouth of salad.
“What?”
She swallowed, and blinked like a butterfly sunning its wings. “Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic?”
I shrugged. “I don’ know. Ask Mrs. Quill.”
Mrs. Quill’s head popped up. “Ask me what?”
“Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, through ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel on its head,” read Mr.Biblo from his book, oblivious to the current conversation.
Mrs. Quill’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? You want to know about toads?”
“When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme nor reason?” Mr.Biblo asked in confusion.
Julia raised an eyebrow at Mr.Biblo. “If you had a million Shakespeare’s, would they write like a monkey?”
“She speaks…yet she says nothing!” sniffed Mr.Biblo sarcastically.
I leaned back and sighed happily to myself, watching the lunch entertainment as I ate. Mr.Biblo and Julia were now having a mini food fight, throwing intelligent insults and tofu wraps. Mrs. Quill began to argue with her book characters again, and Tim was trying to calm everyone down. Life Lesson #30: Lunch with librarians in never boring.