"Sheep Story" OR "The Toupee has Fallen...and Other Tales of Whimsy and Adventure"

Once Upon A Time...

It was a dark, rainy night in England (as most nights there are). The rain fell from the sheepy clouds like a jar of pins, rattling with the sound of lightening and then hitting the brownstone church with chill, sharp pitter-patters. The ivy desperately climbing up the side of the stones was beat down by the elements, but some had grown high enough to encircle a second circle window. The window glowed with the light of a florescent bulb and looked into a bedroom of teenage girls.

The bunk beds were creaking as the girls hopped around in their fluffy PJs and made up bedtime stories. Some were scary, some were funny, some were wooly. 

A short distance away on a grassy moor, a herd of sheep huddled together for warmth from the sharp rain. They shivered and one of the smaller sheep tripped and rolled away from the others. A gale quickly had it rolling away down the hills and hillocks like a wet cotton ball. No one really noticed. Byaahhh (that was the sheep's name) had a habit of wandering off.

The other sheep hardly noticed so preoccupied with the weather they were. There was no help for it. The leader of this wild pack of sheep, Terrance the Sheep was his name, whistled and ordered the herd to move forward. To be frank, his mutton was freezing and they would have to go to extreme measures: It was time to find human habitation.

The sheep were drawn to the bright window of the church. By hopping onto one another's backs they soon had a stack o' sheep reaching to the window. Terrance looked in and quickly ordered the swaying tower of sheep to move on to the next window. Human girls were far too loud, wouldn't go to sleep for hours, and he was alarmed by one girl's bright red shorts.

Slowly moving on, the sheep came to a far more pleseant window. The room inside was unlit, muggy, and inhabited by two gently sleeping human boys. Terrence smiled. Perfect. 

You must understand, these were highly athletic sheep. Not very bright, certainly, but Terrance did most of the thinking for them. By climbing up the tower and making a sheep rope of sorts by biting the wool of their neighbor sheep, the herd managed to squeeze, push, and jam every last mutton into the room. The human boys, also known as Joel Brown and David Tate, were in a Ninja-induced coma or sorts and were sound asleep. Even having a herd of sheep snuggle into bed beside them could not disturb their slumber. The arrangements were ideal but for one small detail: the Human boy with the incredibly long legs (David) was snoring quite loudly. This too was soon taken care of by a large and extremely woolly sheep sitting on David's face. The snores were quite muffled then.

The night passed quickly and the morning rose like a brightly-colored sponge: Cheerful but slightly damp. David the Human stretched and accidentally hit Terrence the Sheep and several other of the herd in the noggin with his lengthy tibia (a human shinbone). The sheep "BaaaaaAAA!"-ed in quietly in upset anger. They had come in peace to share the room and what had they been greeted with in the morning? A TIBIA TO THE HEAD, THATS WHAT! Suffice it to say, their wool was steamed. So, what else could they do? They plotted revenge.  

Still sound asleep, the sheep bundled away Joel and David the Humans, sliding them down the sheep's backs and onto a plush trampoline of sheep huddled together into a circular formation. Two sheep were chose from the herd: A brown sheep and a tall black sheep. With a nice toupee Joel and David toupee, they were perfect impostors for their human counterparts. Little did Joel and David the Humans, snoozing on the sheep bed as it wandered aimlessly over the countryside, realize that their woolly twins were bundled up in their bunk beds, lying in wait and nibbling on the pillows for a nice snack.

TO BE CONTINUED...